Those of you who read this on a regular basis will know that for the past 18 months the boy and I have been living in Shoreditch and I loved it....!!
Seriously...I mean I actually loved it....living in London to me is the same as a really great relationship where you like the same things, like going to the same places and the great sex never goes away.
Sadly due to the fact that I am nearing the end of my twenties and have a big fat wedding to save up for the boy and I decided to return back to our home town of Leigh-on-sea....a fishing town close to Southend-on-sea (for those of you who haven't been think overweight men with their tops off walking around drinking cans of special brew calling everyone pricks....it is beautiful!!).
Back when I was young Leigh was where the alternative crowd hung out....there were no fake tans, designer bags or small dogs to be seen. So you can imagine my shock on Saturday when after unpacking the boy and I took a stroll around our new home to find that it has been turned into The Only Way is Essex. In fact they have bought a local bar/hotel there and now half the series will be filmed in my home town and half in Brentwood....or wherever it is currently filmed (as you can imagine this information did not go down well).
I will be honest....I had a slight emotional breakdown starting off with me insisting nothing was wrong and culminating in me laying on the floor crying shouting 'I want to move back to London NOW'.
Lucking the boy knows me very well so after a bottle of white wine and about seven chain smoked cigarettes (which I actually gave up around two weeks ago) I became slightly calmer.
I think the shock of it all is that in Essex there is a lot of attitude and people are very hung up on their looks which is the total opposite of me as I walk around in my own little bubble and often look like I am off to a fancy dress party.
The walk to the station in the morning is now a fashion show where girls will look at you strangely if you do not have the regulation pencil skirt, high heels, amazingly perfect hair and make-up and BIG designer handbag.
I am now unsure if I should try and fit in and wear the 'Essex Work Uniform' to work and then change into my normal outfit or just stay as I am and endure the looks from the Essex WAGS.
I will tell you one thing though...there is going to be a lot of white wine drunk in order to get through this!!